I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
