Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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