I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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