Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
