but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
