I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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