Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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