how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
