you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
