Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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