i permit you to call me
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
