You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
