this boner is exhausting
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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