theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I need a beard to bite.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
