And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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