My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
No subtext here. People are naked.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
