mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just want to make out with him forever
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
