I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
