May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
