Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
is wine microwaveable?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
