This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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