Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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