all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
