Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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