why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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