We won't sleep together?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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