yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
