i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
