I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
