Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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