I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
