what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
