Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He did a backflip because drugs
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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