Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
