Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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