5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
