Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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