So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
