My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
