my mouth tastes like poor choices
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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