I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
