You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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