Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
