There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
where are you?
Hypothermia
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
