I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
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