But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
