i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
