90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
