The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
