I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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