well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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