So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
