So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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