She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
